This Is Falling Read online

  “You know what? Why don’t you come out with me? We can see where our classes are, and then I’m heading to the gym. Maybe Nate will be done by then,” he’s already heading back to his room with his keys out. I can’t get my voice to work, so I just look from him to my room and back again, constantly calculating if I have enough time to run. Cass squashes that plan, though, when she’s suddenly next to me in her full workout clothes.

  “You missed a hell of a party last night. You’re coming to the mixer with me tonight, no excuses,” she says, looping her arm through mine. I don’t have time to answer her either, because suddenly the mystery man is back.

  “Hey, I think I met you last night,” he says, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth when he looks at Cass. It’s the same face Nate made when he introduced himself, and I recognize it—he’s full-on flirting with Cass.

  “Yeah, we hung for a bit I think. I got pretty shit-faced,” she laughs, and I’m a little surprised. I don’t know why really—I know it’s normal for college kids to party and drink. But the thought of it all scares the hell out of me. I’ve never been drunk. I’ve barely had a drink. I mean you don’t go from missing your prom and hiding in the house all the time to life of the party. And just listening to these two people, whom hours ago were strangers, bond and laugh and flirt in front of me, is making the scars on my side hurt and my head is getting dizzy.

  “What was your name?” he asks, and I can tell he’s faking the expression he’s making. He doesn’t know her name at all, but this is his way of finding it out.

  “Cass,” she says, and an actual giggle escapes her. Every second ticking by in this interaction, I’m learning more about my roommate.

  “Cass. That’s right. I’m Ty,” he reaches his hand in front of me to shake hers, and I notice the toned muscles of his arm. I can tell Cass sees them too, and when we make brief eye contact, she looks almost like she’s trying to signal something to me. “Rowe and I were just heading out to the gym. We were going to stop by a few of the buildings on the way. You know, scout out our classes? Wanna come? You look like you’re heading that way.”

  Cass bunches her brow, clearly confused at how I know Ty, and why I’m making plans with him. I’d love to give her an answer, but I’m not even sure how I got here and into this situation, so I just smile and stuff my hands deep into my pockets, my thumb rubbing obsessively over the grooves on my room key to keep myself calm.

  “Sure, sounds great,” she says, tugging on my arm again to walk closely alongside her.

  The elevator ride is quiet and uncomfortable. Several others join us on the next floor down, and we have to wait for everyone to file out when we get to the ground floor. All I can focus on is the front door of the building, the one I practiced walking in and out of all morning. It’s always easier to venture outside when I’m not alone. And Cass makes me feel comfortable, so I take in my deep breath and move my feet forward until we’re finally outside. I must be squeezing Cass’s arm too tightly, because by the time we make it to the next building, she leans into me to ask if I’m all right.

  “Sorry,” I say, letting my arm hang loose from hers. “Not good with strangers.”

  “You don’t really know him?” she laughs, keeping her voice quiet and tilting her chin forward toward Ty, who is a few feet ahead of us on the walkway.

  “I just met him this morning,” I say, shaking my head. Cass laughs and tugs on my sleeve so we can catch up to him.

  “So, ladies. Where are you from?” he asks, his eyes really focusing on Cass when he asks that question, and for some reason, I’m relieved that she has to go first.

  “Me and my sister are from Burbank,” she says, and I can tell he’s trying to figure out how I’m related to Cass but look nothing like her, so I stop his question before it comes.

  “Oh, no. We’re not related. Cass and I are roommates. I’m from Arizona,” I say, turning to Cass, now wondering whom the hell she’s talking about.

  “Oh, yeah. Sorry, my sister’s our other roommate. You met her last night, too. Paige?”

  I’m so stunned by this revelation I’m unable to keep my thoughts inside my head. “What?” I literally stop walking when I speak, and Cass can’t help but laugh at my response.

  “I know, we couldn’t be any more different, huh?” she says, shrugging and smiling back at both of us. “We’re twins. Nobody ever believes it.”

  “And why would they! You’re polite and smart and Paige…seems to have other qualities,” I try to change the course of my words midstream, realizing a little too late that I’m calling her sister rude and stupid. Probably a little soon for me to assume that’s okay to do, and I inwardly curse my lack of social skills. Thankfully, my rant has Cass laughing even harder now.

  “I know, right? My sister’s a real bitch!”

  My eyes almost pop out of my head, and I look at Ty for assurance that I heard her right, but he’s just staring at her and smiling even harder than he was before. I wonder if she knows he likes her? And I wonder how much they got to know each other at the party last night?

  “So where are you from, Ty?” Cass asks, biting her bottom lip a little. She notices his stare, and I think she likes it.

  “I’m from Louisiana originally, though I just transferred here from Florida. I’m in grad school, but my brother’s a freshman. We thought it’d be cool to live together, so we both settled on the same school. They have a great business program here, and a hell of a baseball team, so it worked out.”

  “Nate’s your brother,” I nod and mutter quietly to myself. I feel like I’m trapped in an episode of 90210, and I’m just grateful that I’m getting all of these revelations out of the way early rather than having to wait for the season to end to put the puzzle together.

  “Oh yeah. I think I saw him last night, too. My sister was all over him,” Cass says, and I’m suddenly overcome with a rush of jealousy. I’m embarrassed by it, and I’m sure they both can tell, so I turn my gaze to my feet and start to look for cracks in the sidewalk.

  “Oh I remember her. She’s cute,” he says, and I tilt my head up just in time to see the same emotion I was just feeling wash over Cass. “Not my brother’s type, though.”

  Ty’s gaze switches to me when he speaks, and he holds his stare long enough to make me feel uncomfortable and look back down. Was he trying to tell me I’m not his brother’s type? Was that a warning to get out before I’m disappointed? Or just confirming my assumption last night, that Nate’s just looking for friends. Nothing more. I hope that’s it, because the more I get to know people, the less sure I am that I’m even ready for friends.

  We walk along the main path up the middle of the campus, and I’m able to spot every single one of my buildings along the way. I have mostly general-studies classes. I still haven’t declared a major, and the advisor said I could wait a semester or two before I figured it out. I’m not sure that’s enough time, though—I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Before everything changed, I used to think I wanted to be a designer. No real reason why, and I’ve never been great at computer programs, so that dream sort of dissipated the less attention I paid to it. Unfortunately, nothing stepped up to take its place.

  “Nate’s in there. I know the coaches, so I can go in with you if you want. He’d like to know you’re here,” Ty says, and I can’t help but notice the look Cass is making behind him. She wants to know more, and I know I’m going to have to tell her about my run-in with Nate.

  “Oh, okay. I guess so, if you think it’s okay that I go in? I can wait out here, too. I don’t want to interrupt something.” I start fidgeting and I can feel my skin tingling with discomfort. Ty smiles and winks while he passes me, urging me to follow.

  “You’re fine. Come on,” he says, so I look to Cass, who’s still waggling her eyebrows my way.

  Deep breaths. Take deep breaths.

  We head through a long hallway to a separate area of the gym, and I can tell this is where the school’s athlete
s train. It’s football season right now, so almost everyone in the room is four times my size.

  “Oh my god, Rowe. Paige is going to be so pissed when she finds out we were in here without her. This is like her own personal supermarket full of jocks.” We both stay back near the door, but let our eyes wander the expanse of the room. There’s a slight tinge of sweat-smell in the air, but it’s not gross at all, and I can’t help the way my body is reacting to it. I blush when one of the large, shirtless men walks by me and says, “Excuse me,” brushing his arm against the front of my body slightly while he passes. Suddenly, I’m standing straighter, and sucking in my stomach, pushing out what exists of my chest.

  “There he is. Hang on, I’ll let him know you’re here,” Ty says, moving toward the back of the room. I see Nate’s profile in the far distance, but my eyes zero in on his features immediately. He was not a dream. Everything I thought I saw and remembered is exactly as it should be, and when his gaze flicks up to mine, I’m catapulted back to the hallway and the way he looked in the dark, holding my underwear.

  “You are like seven shades of red, girl,” Cass says, leaning into me.

  “That bad, huh?” I used to think I would be the kind of person that would lie when people called me on my emotions. But there’s something about Cass that makes me comfortable. It’s either that, or I’m just too tired of hiding everything else to give a damn about getting gushy over a boy right now.

  “Suck it up, chickadee. He’s on his way over here.”

  I draw the air in slowly through my nose the entire time he’s walking my way, so by the time he’s standing in front of me, I don’t have to panic for a breath.

  “Hey, so I’m totally sorry I blew our plans. I forgot about workouts this morning,” he says, and his words come out like butterscotch candies. I’ve never heard someone talk like him, and I’d give anything for him to read me a story at night. I bet I wouldn’t even need to take Ambien to relax.

  “That’s okay, I understand.” My heart is thumping wildly and erratically, and I’m worried it’s making my voice quiver.

  “She’s lying, bro,” Ty says suddenly, knocking the wind from me again. “I found her waiting by the elevator. Some asshole stood her up.”

  I. Want. To. Die. My eyes dart from Ty to Nate to Cass, who only shrugs since I haven’t been able to bring her fully up to speed on my late night run-in yet.

  “No, really. It’s my fault. I didn’t check my messages this morning,” I explain, giving Ty a look that I hope sends a warning. I’ll have to practice those faces, because I’m not really sure how to make them. This one seems not to be very intimidating, because he just laughs softly and backs away.

  “Damn, that guy is an asshole. And so is his brother,” Nate says, scratching under his chin and flicking his hand at Ty. He turns to me—dimples, smile. “I was going to stop by your room this morning, but I didn’t want to wake you up. Hey, I’ll make it up to you. You hungry? Want lunch?”

  My stomach is growling, and I’m starving. But the thought of sitting in a crowded cafeteria makes my body break out in an instant sweat.

  “Rowe, I’ve gotta go. I have an appointment with a personal trainer in ten minutes,” Cass says, pulling her watch from her wrist and tucking it in the small workout bag she’s carrying. “I’ll see ya back at the dorm.”

  I smile and wave, scrunching my hand closed, and stuffing it back in my pocket.

  “Yeah, so…it looks like I’m her trainer, since I have a noon appointment. I fucking love today,” Ty says, looking up and smiling, which makes both Nate and me laugh. “I’ll see you later, dude. Oh…and this one? Yeah, she’s totally your type.”

  I. Want. To. Die.

  Chapter 5

  Nate

  If he weren’t my brother, I would kill him. I might kill him anyway. I can tell she’s embarrassed. Her body is now bright pink, and I can practically feel the heat radiating off of her.

  I don’t like the way he showed it. But I do like that my brother approves. He never liked Sadie; said he didn’t trust her. But I didn’t listen. Seems my brother’s instincts are a shitload sharper than mine. And if he thinks Rowe has something, then I’m definitely making this girl go to lunch with me. I have to figure her out before the rest of the school shows up and I have to compete for her attention.

  “So, what do you say?” I ask. She seems nervous, and I feel like she might back out. Maybe if I can find a way to stick with the original plan. “If you’re not hungry, we could just walk around town?”

  She’s tugging on her bottom lip with her teeth and hugging herself with her arms, like she’s not sure what to do with herself, and I catch her eyes searching for her friend who’s walking away. Damn. She’s trying to get out of this.

  “Or whatever. If you’re tired, I get it. My fault for missing our date.” For some reason, that last word catches her attention, and her eyes meet mine quickly, flaring open a little wider. Shit, she didn’t like the word date.

  “No, I…I could eat, actually. It’s just,” she starts, and her eyes fall to her feet, looking over her arms that are still folded tightly around her and down to her shuffling shoes. “I’m kind of a picky eater. So, maybe we could go somewhere in town? Is that…okay?”

  I try to play it cool, but inside I’m glad she’s up for my back-up plan. It’s going to take us a good twenty minutes to walk into town, and I already know I’m going to make her go to Sally’s. It’s good food, but the service is slow as heck. That gives me at least a couple of hours with her.

  “That’s perfect. There’s actually this place I’ve been dying to try. Mind?”

  She just nods and smiles, still fidgeting with her feet locked to their place. I notice she’s not wearing socks with her running shoes, and I don’t know why, but I can’t seem to take my eyes off the line along her calf muscle and the way it stretches deep into her ankle. It’s weird how a girl can look so soft, but so strong at the same time.

  “You play sports?” I ask, my eyes still locked on her leg.

  “A little. I used to, I mean. I was good at tennis,” she says, finally relaxing her upper body. “Ty says you play baseball?”

  I love that she has no idea who I am. Not that I’m that big a deal, but I did turn down a lot of Division 1 schools to come here. The chick at the party last night sure knew who I was. Or, at least, she knew that I was an athlete at the school. She was sloppy drunk and kept telling me how she just wants to hook up with a jock this week.

  Some guys love that shit. Easy. Ty kind of likes it, at least in the moment. But usually he’s pissed at himself that next day when he has to face a girl he really has no interest in. I’d rather wait around until I find someone worth it, someone I’d like to see in the morning, not just the night.

  “Yeah, I’m the catcher.” I sort of wait to see how she reacts, and when she doesn’t, I keep going, suddenly feeling like I have to work a little to impress her. “So, I pretty much play every game. I’m stepping in for a senior this year, and it’s kind of awkward, because I think they’ll probably play me more than him.”

  “Are you good?” Her bluntness is adorable, if not intimidating.

  “Huh. Well, I was good enough for them to ask me to come here. I guess I hope I’m good enough for them to want me to stay.” All I can do is smile at her, the way she’s crinkling her nose while she thinks about what she needs to know about me next. Anything…I want this girl to ask me anything.

  We’re walking to the front lobby now, so I nod to my coach that I’m heading out, and he just waves me off. I’m about to place my hand on her back to lead her outside—both because I want her to know what direction to go and because I want to feel her shoulder blades under my fingers. But I notice she pauses when we get to the door; I can see her breathing pick up, so I pull my hand away before it grazes her. She’s nervous.

  “Did anyone else ask you?”

  “Huh?” Her eyes are staring at the metal grate that divides the outside from the inside,
so I can’t even get a clue from her expression as to what she means.

  “Baseball. Did anyone else ask you to play?”

  “Oh.” For a second I thought she was asking me about other girls, and other girls is the last thing I want to talk about in front of Rowe. I spent my summer forgetting all about Sadie with my brother’s help, and let’s just say that’s how I know I’m not meant for one-night stands and good-enoughs. For the last three months, I’ve felt like a major asshole, which is exactly why I left the party last night. Fate rewarded me by running me into Rowe.

  “Yeah, I had a few other offers.”

  “How many?”

  She still hasn’t brought her eyes back to me, but we’re walking again, so at least she’s not trying to run away anymore. “I don’t know. Ten or twelve.”

  I know exactly how many schools asked me to play—sixteen. And there was also an offer to get into the Indians organization. But I didn’t want to trade a free ride through business school with my brother for a year or two in some shit-splat town making a teacher’s salary.

  “So, you must be pretty good, huh?”

  “I’m all right.”

  It takes us about fifteen minutes to get into town, and we make small talk the entire way. I don’t have any classes with her—probably because she’s still figuring out what she wants to do. I can tell she’s stressed about the topic, so I don’t grill her on it for long. She talks about her parents a lot, which for some reason makes me like her even more. Ty and I have a great relationship with our mom and dad, and it’s a turnoff when a girl wants to bag on her mom over stupid petty things.

  When we walk into Sally’s, I wince. The guy behind the bar recognizes me, and he’s going to blow my cover. “Nate! Hey man, how’s it hangin’!”